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dispatches on music, culture, and God

#operaplot highlight reel

With the flood waters waxing and waning outside my door, I thought this a suitable time for reflecting on the #operaplot competition.

Following in the tracks of San Franciscan Paul Ziller, who did his own “best of operaplot” post, I thought I’d give it a go. Distilling over 900 entries to roughly my top 3% was not easy, but made slightly easier by the fact that, hey, this is only accounting for my sense of humor. I’m not surprised that the list is dominated by people I regularly interact with on Twitter; I follow them for a reason. Enjoy! (in alphabetical order, by entrant)

Arbakr – Wotan and the the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day. [Die Walküre]

frindley – Hello muddah, hello faddah, I’m in love w/ Gioconda! But she hates me (so enticing), And goes in for all this noble sacrificing [La Gioconda]

frindley - Brutalised Soldat leads a dissonant existence; stabs inconstant mistress; only saved from serial crime by accidental drowning [Wozzeck]

mlaffs – The gods learned the hard way the lesson we all know too well: You can’t buy real estate with borrowed money. Or even gold. [Ring Cycle]

MMmusing – The first chord puts tonality on notice. The ending lets Isolde Liebestod us. [Tristan und Isolde]

MMmusing – Don’t cry for me my Adina. The truth is I never left you all thru your sarge phase. I’m a persister; even enlisted to buy elixir. [L’Elisir d’Amore]

nbrockmann – Almaviva Has Aims Most Impure / That His Wife Can No Longer Endure / So She Plots W/ Her Maid / Hides Disguised In A Glade / Jig Is Up - No More Droit De Seigneur [Le Nozze di Figaro]

nbrockmann – I’m in ur Rhine, stealin ur gold/I can haz love?/Curses: I haz one/Applz=NOM/Want MOAR gold/O hai/Impending doom: ur doin it rite [Rheingold]

nbrockmann – Starving latchkey kids thrown out by abusive mom; in woods, they get into witchcraft, cannibalism, murder. Perfect for children! [Hansel and Gretel]

nbrockmann – Ripped from the headlines: sad clown loses it; stabs wife+her lover for real, not pretend. Hey-wasn’t this a Law & Order episode? [Pagliacci]

nbrockmann – Chair slick with blood?/You’ll think it odd/Unless your barber’s/Sweeney Todd/Burma-Shave [Sweeny Todd]

nbrockmann – Need help with winning/Young girl’s ardor?/In Seville/Just ask your barber!/Burma-Shave [Il barbiere di Siviglia]

nbrockmann – Adina’s in love w/Belcore,/And can think of no other signore./Dulcamara gives vino/To poor Nemorino/And calls it Elisir d’Amore. [L’Elisir d’Amore]

nbrockmann – Midnite special-Sparafucile alla puttanesca. Comes in a takeout sack w/a surprise. Prices (& women) subject to change w/o notice. [Rigoletto]

nbrockmann – A painter named Cavaradossi/Has a GF both pious&saucy/He is tortured;she cries/He eventually dies/4 protecting a guy in his posse [Tosca]

Oliver JMC – By some miracle, he didn’t experience any burning sensations until after the 1003rd. [Don Giovanni]

ogiovetti – Tart-with-a-heart ditches her Parisian party girl lifestyle to shack up with young naive lover. Because THAT always ends well… [Manon Lescaut]

ogiovetti - If you knew what happened to the first couple who heard it, you may rethink using that ubiquitous wedding march. [Lohengrin]

OperaSanJose – Me: I never tried to seduce a prophet, then made out with his severed head after doing a lap dance for my dad. Sal: Crap [Salome]

pattyoboe – She Dances just to get a head [Salome]

pattyoboe – 3 Rhine maidens like to sing; this is how we start the Ring. It won’t end for several days, with lots of death & one large blaze [Rheingold]

pauljz – Her name was Violet, she was a call girl. With camélias in her hair & consumption in the air. At the AH-PRAH! Don’t fall in love! [La Traviata]

pauljz – My head says Turandon’t! But my heart says Turando! [Turandot]

primalamusica – Contestant on macabre Hungarian gameshow ignores all hints from the host and opens one mystery door too many [Bluebeard’s Castle]

primalamusica – Unrequited lover’s talent for maudlin poetry is dwarfed by his spectacular gift for RUINING Christmas. [Werther]

Sam Neuman -I am alone in a forest! I am screaming what seem to be random notes! AHH! OOH! AOOH! (This will be done in 45 minutes. Promise.) [Ewartung]

Sam Neuman – You know on Glee when they did a mashup of The Thong Song and I Could Have Danced All Night? It’s that, but highbrow and German. [Ariadne auf Naxos]

**special props to nbrockmann, who had 9 (count ‘em, that’s 1/3) of my favorites this year. Well, so one’s not technically an opera, but clever anyway.

And my favorites among my entries:

opera personal
  1. jamesharrington posted this